They said I do – you need to know what you don’t do

Wearing white to someone else’s wedding is one of the biggest no-nos but are the wedding etiquette rules more relaxed than they used to be?  So when they say “I Do” you need to know what you can and can’t do.

Dress code

Nobody but nobody should wear white, cream or ivory except the bride at a wedding.  Unless the bride has given the go-ahead for a white theme, guests should avoid these colours like the plague!  The bride’s wedding day is the one day when it really is all about her, she should be the only person in these colours and a guest turning up in white is only after one thing – to upstage the bride which we all know is the biggest NO-NO imaginably!


Traditionally, the bride chooses her dress, followed by the colour theme for the bridesmaids.  It is then over to the Mother of the Bride to pick her colours before the honour is passed on to the Mother of the Groom …. and it’s only after this that guests traditionally pick their colour schemes and outfits whilst avoiding all colours chosen so far.

Guests should take into account when and where the wedding is taking place.  If it’s a church wedding be respectful to both the religion of the church and the bride and groom – don’t wear anything too revealing or dress like you are off clubbing for the night.

Jeans are a big no-no regardless of what designer make they are, how long they make your legs look or how cool and hipster you think you look.



Evening guests also need to take into account this dress code, the night time dress code is a little more relaxed but white, see-through or jeans will still be a lack of respect to the newly married Mr and Mrs … and it might be the fastest way possible to lose that friendship or connection that got you a invite to their biggest day of their lives.


We are a nation addicted to our phones!  Even if you have been invited to the ‘Wedding of the Year’, our bet is you will still be glued to your phone petrified of missing out on what your friends in cyberspace are doing – making social media not very social if you are too busy checking what your friends are up to on social media to be social to the people sat next to you at the table.

So give the wedding couple the biggest gift of all – give them your time!  Turn off your phone or better still leave it at home and enjoy the company of the people around you at the wedding.



If you really can’t do without the above because you just CANNOT live without the chance of taking THE most perfect Instagram photo, then be respectful – make sure it is out of sight, turn the sound off and make sure it is not on vibrate because yes, that still makes a noise (a very annoying noise!).

Respect the bride and groom’s photograph policy – it is becoming more and more popular guests to have a no-phone policy at the wedding.  There is nothing worse than someone’s phone going off during the ceremony or picture’s of the beautiful bride going up on social media before the evening guests have arrived.


Ashfield House

The bride or groom will have paid quite a considerably amount of money for their official photographer.  He will have done a recce of the venue before the wedding and picked his ideal spot for that ‘killer’ shot so the last thing he needs is his perfect shot of the bride first walking down the aisle obstructed by guests hanging out of their seats into the aisle because that is all the photographer will see….. or worst still, the groom can’t see his bride!




Weddings are the time to celebrate … but not to excess!  Limit your drinks and drink slowly, celebrating a wedding of your family or friends is not the time to get as drunk as you possibly can, as fast as you can.


But the wedding rule #1 is enjoy yourself and help make the happy couple have the best day of their lives!





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